One Year Later

It will be one year ago come Feb 6 when Kelvin was arrested. One week after that I filed for divorce and it was finalized June 3rd after last hearing on the same day. I received my court documents on the 7th of June last year. Has been a harrowing year for me. I have been trying to to keep up with the rent and utilities and sold my white Taurus last September. A good friend loaned me the money to buy a 1994 Geo Metro with over 200 thousand miles on it but it runs good and gets the best gas mileage. Learning to drive a 5 speed again after having the automatics for years took no real skill. Like riding a bike. Unfortunately Dakota turned 16 in October and have not the courage or patience to teach him to drive a stick shift.

I fell in love with a man I have been seeing for over a year now. We have spent a lot of time together, working at his place of business and riding all over the city on his motorcycle. Making love in various places including the woods, the car, his home, my home. Feeling like a teenager again just getting out of high school!

He went into the hospital yesterday. Internal bleeding. He underwent tests today to find out what the problem is. I was the only one he called to tell.

He has been separated from his wife for 3 and a half years and has 5 children all grown except for one daughter who is just a year younger than Dakota.

He is a workaholic. The day before he became ill I was mad at him since it snowed at least 7 inches or more and I was stranded. He didn't come home from his work in Levenworth, KS to check if I needed anything or any help. My sidewalk was full of snow, about a foot at least had drifted over and the car was frozen in place, the doors would not open and I had to call for a ride to work, working a full shift about 4 and a half hours later than usual. Need ing items from the grocery store and little cigars I have turned to now instead of the cigarettes I used to smoke. His favorite flavor is cherry so I bought him some cherry cigars and got turned on to them myself and haven't smoked a regular cigarette since.

I stopped chatting with him on my social page, yelled a little. The next day after work he came straight here and cleaned the walk, dug out from around the car, got the door to open, took me to the store and to the gas station where I buy my little cigars. When he came into the house he complained of not feeling well, felt weak. I hugged and kissed him and thanked him, told him I loved him very much. He went home and went to bed early.

The next day, Wednesday, he called me from the hospital after leaving me an e mail stating he was going to the Dr's office, very unusual for him since he worked constantly even when he had a bad cold he just kept going, never called in sick. I asked him if he called his family to let them know where he was and he said "No, just you." I told him I would come to the hospital to see him if no one else was there and he said no one else knew where he was. He wasn't telling anyone either. He was just so tired and worn out, weak. The temps here have been in the teens and below, this morning it was -2.

School was called off the last two days. Dakota walks to school since I usually work from 5am until 11am. Today, as cold as it was, school was back in session and he walked with his buddies. I asked him if he was warm enough, gloves, hat, two pairs of socks and two teeshirts under his sweatshirt. He said he didn't wear the extra socks. Stating he needed boots instead of the tennis shoes he had been wearing. I know he does. Just hoping I have enough money left over from the check to get him some new ones.

He was supposed to call me this morning when he got out of testing, colonoscopy. The Dr said he would be anesthetized. I tried to call his room twice. No answer. Was hoping a nurse or someone would answer the phone. I knew from previous nursing experience he would be in recovery for at least an hour if not two. It is after 1P CST. If anything happens to him I will not forgive myself for being so petty and acting like a spoiled brat. I have been spoiled by the last two husbands. I have never had to do any of the shoveling. Afterall I had a man to take care of that and keeping the car running and ready to go. I will sit and wait for his call telling me he is alright and ready to go home today or tomorrow. His father had colon Cancer and died a year ago in December on his mother's birthday.